Greece in 26 Lines

Setty
  1. PARTYING = GOING OUT, HAVING COFFEE WITH FRIENDS ON A DAILY BASIS, EATING, STAYING OUT LATE, DRINKING AND SMOKING TOO (we are the only country in the world that has not accepted the law about smoking in public places to pass, unless they’d let us smoke in cafés, bars and restaurants … mind you … after a 3-week strike and severe refusal to pay any ticket)
  2. SHOPPING = well, too important to miss out
  3. WORKING / DRIVING / BUREAUCRACY / SCHOOLING = UTTER AND COMPLETE CHAOS
  4. GOING ON HOLIDAY = ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY PERFECT, THOUGH UNORGANIZED AND CHAOTIC AS WELL.
  5. STAYING IN = WHAT ? ARE YOU SICK ? OH COME ON, YOU CAN STAY IN TOMORROW…
  6. FLIRTING / OR GETTING LAID = EASY AS EYELASH-BATTING
  7. MAKING FRIENDS = QUITE EASY IF YOU DON’T HAVE A BASEBALL CLUB STUCK UP YOUR ASS (not you, I mean generally) / FAIRLY EASY IF YOU DO…
  8. RACISM = not quite … some imply it, some exhibit it but when it comes to helping any poor soul everyone will chip in
  9. CURSING = OUR BREAD AND BUTTER (unless you tend to refer to somebody’s mother … then maybe a hospital visit will change one’s mind)
  10. NEIGHBORS = hate them, hate them, but always leave the door open just in case they want to borrow your piano for a party they’re throwing. What ? You’re not invited ? Ha the motherfuckers, you won’t invite them either to your birthday but make sure to borrow their car on your holiday to Mykonos !
  11. ECONOMY CRISIS = uhmmmmm, does this mean we won’t be going to 3 islands this summer ? Just one ? Oh come on, that’s not fair !
  12. CRISIS (any form of it) = HA ! WHAT ?
  13. BIPOLAR SYNDROME = ehm, we here call it boredom, and we generally love our asses too much to let it go on forever
  14. LOVE-MAKING = Whenever, wherever, whatsoever
  15. LAW-ABIDING = I AM THE LAW, I BUILT THIS COUNTRY … LET’S GO ON ANOTHER STRIKE AND LET THEM EAT SHIT !
  16. GUYS = HOT AND HORNY (ALL THE TIME)
  17. GIRLS = TALKING TOO MUCH, HOT AND HORNY (ALL THE TIME)
  18. GAYS = THEM TOO !
  19. POLITICALLY CORRECT = (buzzer sound) I know, I know … this must be some kind of weird fungus thriving in the Amazon river ?
  20. NAGGING = constant but meaningless , the younger brother of sadness but they haven’t talked to each other for ages !
  21. FOOD = is the ball-cock of all things
  22. LOVE = EVERYTHING
  23. FAMILY = yeah you’ll be staying with your parents until you’re old enough to leave home … translation … yeah you’ll be staying with your parents until you’re lucky enough to get married and find a house next door, unless it’s on the upper floor of the block, or at least within walking distance … what? what other country ? Don’t you love your country ? Oh you’ll be the death of me (the mother faints, the father suffers a mild stroke or a false heart-attack, and gropes in the air for the pills he’s not taking)
  24. MOTHERING = OH GOD, YOUR MOTHER LOVES YOU BABY … SHE ONLY KNOWS WHAT’S BEST FOR YOU … LET ME DISCUSS this one along with THE MOTHERING IN LAW in another post, I need a whole encyclopedia for Greek mothers…
  25. DRINKING = whoever thought a 10 year old can’t go to the supermarket and buy a beer for his dad who’s over at the house barbecuing for the whole family ?
  26. TRAFFIC = Yeeeee-haw ! Step on it , honk, honk, what is it motherfucker didn’t you see the yellow light? You were supposed to go faster before the red light comes on

… or to the officer, “I’m not sure what red light you are talking about, I thought it was Christmas decorations”

April 1, 2011 12:13 pm

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