Deep Thought #3

herocious

Just now it occurred to me how much I like being a descendant of the great apes. A lot of other things occurred to me before having this great occurrence. Like how many things have happened before I was born. I’m talking billions of years all building up to today, all without me, barring reincarnation. It all started with a collision. At least I think that’s what the big bang was, a collision. But I could be wrong. Because what could’ve collided before the big bang? Before anything ever existed? What could’ve collided when Nothingness reigned supreme? A collision assumes no less than two entities, i.e. no less than two somethings more than Nothing. These entities, no less than two, could be connected to one body, or they could be disconnected. At some point they collide, and bang! But don’t assume everything I write is correct. Don’t do yourself the disservice of taking everything I write for granted. Correctness is not something I strive for. They say there’s no such thing as a free lunch. I’m saying back at them that there is, too, such a thing. It’s called writing whatever you feel like writing and just counting on the fact that if it’s belligerently wrong, if it’s a complete piece of malarkey, a devastatingly unintentional lie, it will, in short time, be remedied by either an email or comment or talking behind my back in a forum. 13.7 billion years ago, bang! 13.7 billion years ago, a collision and then quarks, nuclei. So much time went into the creation of the universe. So methodical, paced, patient, as if it had all the time in the world. I mean, it took 9 billion years until our moon was made, the earth’s moon. 9 billion years. And I’m thirty. 30 years old. It sounds so presumptuous to say years old to describe my age in the face of the universe. Saying I’m old is only evidence of my complete inability to understand the great context I’m involved with for the moment. A blip on the screen, that’s how the old saying goes, I’m a blip on the screen. Don’t let something like this depress you, I think, don’t become discouraged by the big picture, you’re not insignificant, for a blip on the screen is infinitely better than being no blip at all. How can you be no blip at all? How can you be without being? A perfectly valid question. One I should be able to answer if for no other reason than that I asked it. Ahh if only I could answer all the questions I asked. Even a winning percentage would do. But asking the question is so gratifying. Maybe not absolutely gratifying, but sufficiently gratifying so that it’s easy to move on with your life even without an answer. The q’s are enough. The q’s are fine without the a’s.

November 21, 2009 4:20 am

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