After many years dealing with the negative consequences of my disease, I’ve learned not to expect sympathy from so-called normal persons. Those fortunate enough not to be born with this disease who often judge us without recognizing our behavior as a symptom of a disease we did not choose to be born with.
I often ask myself, why me? How much better and how many of my life goals would I have been able to reach if I did not have this disease? How many people in my life would I have not let down?
I pray for those of us who have lost their lives or who are in Jails or Institutions. I pray for those who are about to pick up a drug & don’t know that they will become addicts.
I thank my God for giving me the opportunity to be clean & sober today & for the miracle that recovery brings. I know I cannot change the past & the devastation and pain that I have caused those closest to me. I pray that someday they will forgive me. I will try to forgive myself. That is a lot harder and it will take time. But today I am committed to my recovery one day at a time, for me.
I once read that addicts are not responsible for their action while in active addiction, but they are responsible for their recovery.