Have a Drink, Austin

Al Billings

Have a drink! A few snorts of whiskey and life becomes rosy and sublime. Just ask the Travis County prosecutor here in Austin, who’s currently undergoing a thorough grilling by her Republican foes before a county judge. Rosemary Lehmberg had a few too many shots one night and landed in jail, shit-faced and spitting mad, her car idling along the side of the highway while a deputy sheriff cuffed her and hauled her away.

Austin, Texas is crawling with drunks. Students, teachers, and lawyers alike grow thirsty here, and with our burgeoning, youthful drinking age population expanding daily, it’s a wonder more of them don’t wind up either passed out in the front seats of their cars or crumpled head-on into telephone poles, the second largest college-age binge-drinking population in America expressing itself by draining the vats and waiting for the liquor stores to open.

When the original Plymouth Colony pilgrims made landfall off the New England coast, the first thing they did was construct a tavern, and the holds of those early ships where sagging to the waterline from the weight of all those casks and barrels just waiting to be uncorked. So, let’s have a little snort of good-time cheer and shake the cold out of our bones. Have a drink!

December 12, 2013 12:12 am

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