I I I I I’m trying to get back into the swing. I I I I I’ve fallen off and knocked my seat against the gravel. For a long time I’ve been sitting on the gravel not wanting to investigate the damage. I I I I I know there’s blood involved. I I I I I’m positive there’s irregularly shaped pieces of gray matter splintered underneath my cheeks. It’s in my nature to be afraid of damage to myself. The damage itself isn’t what hurts, it’s the aftermath, the bleeding, the wound. I I I I I’m probably a hemophiliac. No, that’s a lie. Blood doesn’t make me faint or sigh heavily. Blood doesn’t make me lose balance or breath. I I I I I simply don’t like assessing damage. I I I I I’d rather let it go unnoticed, leave it ignored, forget. Stephen Hawking doesn’t need God to believe in the creation of the universe. Stephen Hawking has found his answer. What existed before the Big Bang? What/who was the First Mover? I I I I I’ll try to pretend I’m not curious about this question. Impossible! I’m human! Not being curious about what existed before the Big Bang is the same thing as turning into a hamster. I I I I I’m not a hamster. I I I I I don’t look like a hamster and my legs are much longer. Stephen Hawking says laws like gravity enable the universe to create itself from nothing. Gravity is ‘God’. Stephen Hawking understands his own mind. Stephen Hawking sees straight through the illusion, straight into freedom. Big Bang! Precisely! The universe exists for Stephen Hawking spontaneously. God didn’t need to be there. Nothing needed to be there. The law of gravity makes this true in Stephen Hawking’s brain. But can’t God be spontaneously created with the universe? Can’t the 2 come to be simultaenously spontaneously into being? I I I I I’m taking off my shorts now and I I I I I’m looking behind me now and I I I I I see my gravel-stabbed cheeks and I I I I I’m alright, Ma (I’m only bleeding).
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