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LeBron James, the New Chuck Norris

Image by Kris Kros

Image by Kris Kros

Here are summaries of the first ten hard-hitting paragraphs from “LeBron James Takes It Over The Top” by Jonathan Abrams of the New York Times:

1.  LeBron James might just be the best player in the N.B.A.
2.  He leads the N.B.A. in scoring because he’s so darn big and strong.
3.  I mean it; James is really, really big.  He’s also super fast.
4.  James repels defenders like Bruce Lee in a room of belligerent toddlers.
5.  He is like Karl Malone except way better.
6.  “LeBron is like Karl Malone except way better,” says his coach.
7.  “In some ways James is not as awesome as Karl Malone, but in other ways he is more awesome,” says a detractor.
8.  “If he doesn’t keep that ridiculous power in check, someone could get hurt,” he continues.
9.  Opponents can try to challenge James, but it is a fool’s errand.
10.  “LeBron James is huge and fast and the best thing you can do is stay out of his way,” says Vince Carter.

What are some other little-known facts about LeBron James?

UPDATE:  Guess this is front-page material now, complete with its own (intentionally?) ironic mini-title.

February 14, 2009 6:16 pm

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