Brief History of Something

Beach Sloth

I always cried as a child
About everything
Hyper sensitivity was me
One time an adult told me to ‘man up’
I told him ‘I’m still a boy and I plan on taking advantage of this’
That adult shut his big freaking trap
And he decided to go bother his children instead
Somehow that adult made me dislike team sports for such a long time
I gave up soccer
I swam
I ran
I biked
I did anything to not have to deal with such a terrible coach
My swimming coach was an endearing thirty-something Harvard graduate with a rapidly receding hairline
I still swim whenever I can
My running coach told me to re-try the next year after he kicked me off. I missed just one single meet
I didn’t bother. I never tried out again
We called the red-headed kid on the cross country team ‘pube’ because we were assholes
Biking, well nobody told me to bike
Or how to bike
Or why I should even continue doing it
That’s why I still bike
Because it is my decision to get accidentally hit by a car
If that’s what’s supposed to happen
Strange there aren’t biking teams
Maybe there are
Maybe I don’t really want to know or to join

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Beach Sloth blogs hard.

May 17, 2013 5:20 pm

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