1. And so what if you receive attention?
Boy,
i am you.
Girl,
i am you.
Folks,
i am you.
& y’all are me.
i know not what i say or do.
Sometimes my thoughts are lost even to myself,
but if i can be heard, i will be honest:
i am lost, i think( or rather, i feel as though i am[ lost, that is]).
ok? ok.
This is the end of things unseen.
We are post-apocalyptic.
i am sinking; i’m in hell; this is pandemonium.
i am sinking; i’m in hell; this is pandemonium.
i am sinking; i’m in hell; this is pandemonium.
i am sinking; i’m in hell; this is pandemonium.
i am sinking; i’m in hell; this is pandemonium.
i am sinking; i’m in hell; this is pandemonium.
i am sinking; i’m in hell; this is pandemonium.
i am sinking; i’m in hell; this is pandemonium.
i am sinking; i’m in hell; this is pandemonium.
i am sinking; i’m in hell; this is pandemonium.
i am sinking; i’m in hell; this is pandemonium.
i am sinking; i’m in hell; this is pandemonium.
i am sinking; i’m in hell; this is pandemonium.
Finish me,
completed or not,
i don’t care, just do it.
Make me into something else.
Make me into something that i think is
beautiful, or real, or honest, or sincere, or true;
make me happier,
or maybe content
—yes, at least that.
2. thank you
you have to be p fucking confident if you’re going to wear a plain white T as your shirt in public.
you have to ~100% know, for a fact, that there is not a single spot on that motherfucker.
there had better not even be a speck of dark-colored lint, not even by accident, on the back, where you can’t see it, so you don’t know, so it’s kind of okay…;
no: if that happens, you’re fucked and no one will take you seriously.
better, i’d say, to simply not wear a plain white T as your shirt in public.
3. Do not speak as though this were of no consequence.
The other day,
i said to my boss,
“I used to be a deep thinker,”
and he said,
“Well, now that is quite a claim.”
Indignation!—but then:
an inability to respond: the phone rang
and i’ve had to keep my tongue tied,
have had to let this urge to denounce his playful putdown stay inside me(,
have had to let the urge to express anything stay inside),
but i need to tell him(/someone):
I used to be a deep thinker.
Of course i would no longer make that claim today,
for i am well aware that that is quite a claim;
i, however, used to think deeply, richly.
i could have done things, written words, been important,
but i’ve allowed all that to go get away from me.
So while i am a(n over-)thinker,
which does me wrong,
i am not a deep thinker.
But I once was,
and that’s all the point i meant to make.
AUTHOR BIO:: dom schwab is a reader/writer/reviewer of poetry/prose. He is a former contributing reviewer for I AM ALT LIT. Some of his work has been published online (The Open End/Tiny Toe Press, The METRIC, Bravehost Poetry Review, Thought Catalog, etc.) and three of his poems were included in Frank Watson’s “The dVerse Anthology: Voices of Contemporary World Poetry.” Most of his writing can be found on his blogger: DOM SCHWAB FACIAL HAIR. A native Hoosier, he now lives in Chicago.