18 Steps to Relax for Better Sleep


1. Sit on the toilet if you have the slightest premonition that not doing so could pose a problem later on.

2. Floss – this jostles the blood in your gums and adds two years to your life.

3. Brush – this prevents cavities, plaque, and the build-up of bacteria excrement.

4. Stand at the foot of your bed – this makes you yearn.

5. When you feel an urge to slip inside the sheets, do so, but no sooner – this makes you feel lucky to be where you are.

6. Open a book that you can get a lot out of in a few pages. 

7. Read.

8. Rub your forearms with a gliding fingertip motion – this sedates your epidermis.

9. Rake against the grain of your eyebrows using forefinger and thumb – this sedates your follicles.

10. Turn the page.

11. Resume rubbing your forearms.

12. Return to your eyebrows, which are now unkempt.

13. Turn the page.

14. Take a deep breath with sound through your nose.

15. Breath out – this makes you feel like you’re a yogi or yogini, depending on your sex.

16. Read the sentence you are on over again.

17. Close the book.

18. Cut the lights. 

For those of you with bruxism, after brushing put on your ergonomic night guard. This way your mouth gets use to its fit and you’ll get more out of it.  I use DenTek:

Sleep well.

April 8, 2009 11:21 pm

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