Last night I walked by a parade of Red Bull Mini’s being driven around by Red Bull coquettes, and I ruefully shook my head. The morning after the Red Bull cavalcade, strewn along the concrete sidewalk: ludicrously large Red Bull cans. What breed of person drinks this much Red Bull, crunches the can in their hand, and litters? I can imagine them pounding their chest afterwards, Donkey Kong style, dashing into the nearest nightclub, standing on the bar, howling in defense of their wayward decisions, and taking a bump of cocaine with Lil Wayne to keep the night going. Rahhh!
If this makes you ruefully shake your head, keep it locked on TOE.
By the way, remaining true to my pledge, after taking this picture with my girlfriend’s iPhone, I picked up the garbage and put it into a nearby recycling receptacle, which happened to be no more than ten yards in the direction I was already going in.