Flash Fiction Friday :: Three Characters in Search of a Joke

Allen Butler

Bob officially 045

A priest, a whore and a bear walk into a bar. Not altogether, mind you, but they did arrive with a certain close proximity in time.

Anyway, the priest walks in first. He goes up to the bar, sits down and orders a rum and Coke. The whore isn’t too far behind, she sits down next to the priest and orders a strawberry daquiri. The bartender starts preparing their orders.

While this is all going down the bear walks in. He doesn’t order anything because as soon as he’s through the door customers are yelling and screaming about how there’s a fucking bear in the bar. Several of them head for the back, away from the beast.

The bartender, who’d just handed the priest and the whore their drinks, ain’t too happy about this new arrival. He reaches under the bar and pulls out a double barrel shotgun. He aims it at the bear, squeezes the trigger – BLAM! Right into the bear’s chest.

Unfortunately for the bartender this doesn’t do too much to the bear except make him angry. He lunges forward, looking like he’s about ready to jump over the bar and rip his head right off. He aims the shotgun again, one more squeeze on the trigger and BLAM! Right into the bear’s face. The bear falls down on the ground.

Around this time the priest is finishing up his rum and Coke. He finds himself covered in blood, fur and bear guts, shrugs and gets up to leave. The whore is covered in blood too but doesn’t seem to notice – she’s just sipping away peacefully at her daquiri. Meanwhile the bear’s just lying there, doing whatever it is that dead bears do.

November 7, 2014 6:21 am

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