I Surrender

Silverado

When my substance  abuse counselor mentioned that recovery begins by surrendering, I was confused.

Surrendering?

What do you mean by surrendering, I asked?

Before my counselor could answer, I leaned forward and, in an aggressive tone, replied, I never surrender. I’m not a coward!

My counselor smiled & went on to explain that in my case, surrendering was actually an act of courage.

To surrender to the disease of addiction means that you have accepted that you cannot use successfully.

It means that you will no longer pick up that first drug with the idea that this time I will use & have a good time, & stop using when I decide to stop.

It means that you are ready to give up trying to do the same thing & expect different results.

He went on to say that in my case, if I surrender I win.

I recall that moment when I finally understood the concept of surrendering and how my ego has made the decision to surrender very difficult.

Just for today, I surrender.

Silverado

October 25, 2009 9:26 am

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