I’ve got another annoying story for you courtesy of my local gym.

So I’m running on the treadmill yesterday, trying to get my heart pumping, my legs moving, and my sweat glands gushing into overdrive. You know, an honest-to-goodness rip-snorting workout. After going underground to finish a few projects the last couple of weeks, I was desperate for a pretty grueling workout. Call me crazy.

So I’m running pretty fast, got the earbuds blaring Miranda Lambert, and trying to ignore the lady next to me yakking on her cell phone about some big real estate deal in north Phoenix. Everything was going pretty well, the loud cell phone yakker notwithstanding. I’d even reached that runner’s high where you feel like you could run all day. Life was good. Better than good.

But then without warning, the world changed: The gym cleaning crew stepped in.

All around me, three young girls with pails and aerosol spray cans began wiping down the treadmills and vacuuming the floors like it was the last time the gym could ever be disinfected. And did I mention it was 10 o’clock in the morning? And busy?

Anyway, there’s all this commotion going on around me—lady yakking on her cell phone, the usual hip hop blaring through the gym speakers that I do my best to ignore, Miranda Lambert blaring in my ears, guys grunting over the free weights in between fist pumps, and three girls spraying enough ammonia into the air to asphyxiate most of the Southwest.

All I could think of was, why here? Why now?

I usually run about six miles and I was already about halfway through my run. It killed me to have to stop but I had no choice, mostly because I couldn’t breathe. The aerosol cleaning sprays were not only blinding me but making my chest tighten into a knot. And I was the only one in my little area who seemed to be affected by it, making me wonder if everyone around me was one of those perfect pod people like in Invasion of the Body Snatchers where the pod people don’t need to eat or breathe. They just take over.

So I stopped. I had no choice, especially when the hard coughing started. After a few hand gestures (nothing obscene or inappropriate, of course), some chest heaving on my part, a quick apology and a head nod, the three cleaning ladies decided to start cleaning the equipment on the opposite end of the gym where there were, presumably, less annoyed people working out.

And would you believe that the lady yakking on the phone about her mega real estate deal never stopped for a single second? She was definitely a pod person.

::Writer X also writes at The 100 Most Annoying Things::

Tags: ::ESSAYS ABOUT REAL LIFE::, ::HEALTH::, annoying, observational humor, phoenix, pod people, running, working out at the gym

It’s pleasant living with indoor animals. It’s also educational. Helpful even, like having the opportunity to live with Buddha,

to watch and learn from a living thing that instinctively knows precisely how to be comfortable, how to be forever stretched to ∞, like a baby blue blanket

blowing in the wind.

I’d venture to say that when most of us vacation, we cannot find the quality of comfort an indoor animal always exemplifies.

Think about it: an animal who doesn’t have to perform it’s primary instinct, which is to safeguard it’s life, this animal knows what it means to be comfortable, to live far

away from anxiety and unhappiness.

Most of us on vacation can’t walk that far away from our discontent, even if it’s a tiny dot, even if our discontent is impossible to find

under the microscope, covered and rubbed away by years of blind jubilation.

Even these among us, these emoticons of happiness, these , can’t walk that far away from their anxieties and unhappiness.

That’s because when on vacation, when somewhere deep in our dreams, even there, in the land of bliss, we reflect on sadness. On sad things.

There are many. No reason to deny that there are many sad things. But that doesn’t affect the Buddha in your home, sleeping fully in the most

comfortable place you’ve ever seen, a place that, to be honest, you’ve never truly seen. How could you have missed it?

Tags: ::HEALTH::, ::SPIRITUALITY::, buddha, how to be positive, is it possible to be happy, optimism, TOE pic

Yesterday, I stumbled upon a meditating girl.

Through no effort of my own, I walked in on the beautiful serenity of a

meditating girl, a pillar of peace and love, a shapely state of existence.

Since I like to thank things,

Since I’m a thankful person:

the music led me to her.

Thank you music.

All I did was follow you,

follow the sounds of múm,

which, as it turns out,

is the perfect music to meditate to.

But, to be honest, I didn’t guess it was múm. I often

listen to the Icelandic group. They calm me.

They also excite me. múm is one of those groups that make music

both calming and exciting at once. They are an oxymoron. They are

everything. The meditating girl told me it was múm.

After her meditation, she cradled her large cup of tea from underneath her nose,

opened her eyes, and said,

as if she knew all along that some guy had been watching her,

I’ve never meditated to múm.

They’re really good for meditating though.

She was sitting on a blue yoga mat.

Indian style.

She cradled her large cup of Perfect Peach:

a blend of rose hips, hibiscus flowers, peaches,

orange peel, lemon peel, apples,

strawberry leaves, and roasted chicory.

Back when she was meditating – the large cup directly underneath her nose -

the tea was still hot, steaming into her nostrils with each

breath she took, fertile air traveling down to the nadir of her spine,

and then, on the exhale, she roiled the aromatic waters in her large cup of tea,

making the next breath even more fertile, more fragrant,

all the better to find the road to fruitful emptiness.

UPDATE: There are specific instructions for this particular way of meditating with tea that this post doesn’t give justice:

• Dim the lights, close the blinds, or do whatever it takes to subdue the room you’re going to meditate in, and then light a candle.
• The piping hot tea shouldn’t be held directly underneath your nose, but your chin.
• You can either close your eyes or get lost inside the candle flame.

TOEst!

Tags: ::FOOD & DRINK::, ::HEALTH::, dickinson oxymoron, emptiness, icelandic, meditation, meditation practice, mindfulness, mum, tea ceremony, tea time

A campaign film produced by the National Autistic Society, a UK charity. A receptionist becomes angry when she thinks a new colleague is leering at her, but doesn’t realize he has Asperger’s Syndrome and is just trying to read her name tag. Such misunderstandings are common because autism is a “hidden” disability.

For more videos like these, visit this YouTube channel.

Tags: asperger's, asperger's disorder, asperger's syndrome, autism, autism awareness, autism campaign, national autistic society, UK

In a 2005 paper, Changes in the Physiology of Aging during the Twentieth Century, Robert Fogel wields economic theory and statistics to not only justify a steady increase in health care spending, but also suggest that we are tending towards a healthier world because of it.

The 1993 Nobel Laureate believes that his grandchildren will live during a time when the median length of life is over 100 years.

People clearly demand [will pay for] better health care, and as long as the health care industry continues thriving as it is, Fogel believes there will be a 2 year gain in life expectancy every 10 years. Who needs Ray Kurzweil when we have economics?

For more on this sharp and ineluctable curve towards immortality,

read here and here.

Tags: ::HEALTH::, economics, healthcare spending, how to live forever, immortality, nobel laureate, ray kurzweil, robert fogel, university of chicago